It is just after the turn of the year from 2021 to 2022. There is a part of me that cannot believe we had the last two years we did. I remember so vividly when we rang in the 21st century and how big that transition was for people. Some fearing it was the end of the world, some thought our technology would blow up and others like me who just worried about how I would have to adjust to writing the full four numbers for the year when I dated my checks and letters. But this year, I really reflected on the “New Year” and how we normally view it as a new beginning. Typically, there is such excitement and energy around beginning again. This year feels different. Instead of excitement, I feel, see and hear a desperate plea, “Please be a better year than the last two.” or “Can’t possibly be worse.” These past two years took a tremendous toll on people. They activated anger, hate and judgment coming from all angles; all forms. It reared its ugly head in disagreement after disagreement about politics, healthcare, safety and even schooling. The ugliness seemed to lurk under the surface of every conversation. I even found myself wondering what does this person really think/believe. I watched the privileged debate in their righteousness while the suffering spread like wildfire among the vulnerable. I found my own mind paralyzed in disbelief at how cold and unaffected some were. At times I lost faith in humanity. I even doubted that the majority of people know what humanity is; what it looks like. This past year tested friendships, marriages and family bonds as time apart, significant time apart, either strengthened or frayed the fibers of the rope that connects us.

Today, I’m thinking of bidding farewell to the recent past but also staying present to everything that happened. I’m looking forward to a chance to start over, to let go of my own limiting beliefs; often reinforced by my own self-criticisms. Said another way, a chance to wipe the slate clean. There are many signals in the natural world that life is about starting anew minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. The sun rises and sets signaling the beginning and ending of each day. The moon starts new, waxes to fullness only to diminish back down roughly every 28 days. A woman’s menstrual cycle follows the rhythm of the moon coming and going in a similar 28 day cadence. And the seasons cycle through dryness and death in the Fall only to spring forth in rebirth, regrowth and bloom in the Spring. All these cycles happen without fail and sometimes we don’t even notice. If we stay present to the rhythmic cycles all around us, we can fully realize that each minute is an opportunity to start over, look for a new perspective, new inspiration and new growth. Sometimes letting go is the hardest of work when it comes to things like our egos or relationships that no longer fit. Likewise, letting go can be feeling into the hard stuff, being present with our own emotions and walking through the darkness instead of over, under or around. The Yoga teachings talk about having to see our shadow(darkness) in order to see our light. Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist says when we know how to suffer, we suffer less. I’ve seen such avoidance of the darkness and in this I see judgement taking over. If we could only accept that we all have a shadow side and we are all worthy of experiencing our own light. At the precipice of this year, we face the long winter (anyone else miss Game of Thrones?), perhaps the longest winter most of us have seen as we begin to confront the effects of two years of a pandemic, divisive political and global climate, and now more recently the war in eastern Europe. Yet, it won’t be the last and those of us that have learned something through the experiences of the past, will move closer to the light than those who stay stuck. Will you move through the dark winter so you can then treat more moments in your life like the celebration of New Year? Will this experience motivate you to set new standards for your life, commit to taking care of what truly matters and find more ways to live authentically? I’m going to continue taking one step forward through this darkness and little by little, inch by inch move closer to the light. My hope is there will be this brilliant transformation in humanity in the not so distant future. For hope is the belief in even the slightest better future and the understanding that we have a say in what that future will look like.